Sunday, January 18, 2015

Creative writing piece: I played it safe

I played it safe and never told you that I wanted you to be mine. I wanted an Adonis, and you were him. I played it safe and never told you that I thought you were hotter than boiling caramel, that I swooned for your gelled Leonardo DiCaprio hair, that I swam in your eyes, your Mediterranean eyes. 

I love your mind. I love that you think and can think, channelling mind into manifestation. Perhaps you are bound by thought a little too much. Yet, the pulsing heat beneath your limbs plays a fitting balancing act with your musings. I love that though physique is not your centre, you do not ignore the physical in focus of mind games. I love that you love good food.

When you smile I see you peel back a layer of hardness and leave behind the iron man. It’s a moment I rather treasure. I wanted someone passionate and you were him -you understand your passion. I adore you for your boisterousness, your oh so male attitude, because then I can banter back and tell you that you’re wrong! I love that you have strong opinions. You were my Greek God, and oh the luck of your goddess. I love how you are not afraid to hold her, to declare your adoration for her loveliness. I shiver to think of your presence just a little bit nearer; I dream to feel the light touch of your fingers on my bare arm, magnetizing and unravelling.

But then, I don’t adore you for your playing with my heart, your playing with girls’ hearts. I guess I played it safe because some part of me knew that if I didn’t you would say you were just having a bit of fun, or I’d end up voiceless against your games and plays with younger hearts. You pull at my heart strings, but I hold on tight because I know you are a professional and have a favourite with a name that isn’t mine. And after I realize all that I do not adore, I understand in my deepest of places that my strings don’t suit you sound.

So yes, I played it safe, but you’ll end up in my words, I promise. I wanted a leader, a power of being, and you were him, but you couldn’t see that all of me was obscured behind a veil of who-you-think-she-is, what-you-think-she’s-like. You will end up in my words, and then you will say, “I knew her. She was the most incredible spirit, and I never realized. I played it safe, and boy, I should have had the guts.”