It took me about a month to train myself to say "I am a writer" when people asked what I wanted to become. I guess traditionally in the career market, perceptions about one's future career was always something that you would become some day, something you aren't now, but will be eventually, but I don't think that's right. People, especially young people going into university, are becoming more and more conscientious about what they truly want to do in life, what impact they want to have in the world, big and small. It's not about becoming a lawyer, or an accountant, or artist or pianist for that matter. It's about being the lawyer, the accountant, artist, pianist, because only upon really believing that we already are our Calling deep inside ourselves can we manifest our purpose in a more on-hands being.
It's like standing on the edge of a canyon and calling out something people generally shout at the edge of canyons like "Hellooo!" and hearing your voice echo across the sandy-red cliffs. However, in this canyon it receives your message and sends it right back to you even louder that your eardrums can manage. If we send the message out, it will return to us even grander that we could ever have imagined.
So I am a writer. I decided a long time ago that I am not going to be hypothetical about my Calling anymore. It was a self-sabotage tool that I used to keep myself back from full actualization. I will admit to even hesitating to say that I wanted to be a writer. If I had to get a rand for every time I've told someone that I wanted to be a writer and have them give me some facial expression between "oh honey, you just keep dreaming" and "Great Scott, do you know what kind of measly paycheck a writer gets? Why don't you rather do something like engineering or medicine?" I think you know the result.
The truth is that I don't care if people don't really like my Calling. It's my Calling and I'll believe in it and love it, and it's really not anyone else's responsibility to love it for me. That's fine. All I have to do is adore my purpose and what I do. I found that once I started saying to people that indeed, I am a writer and if as I said it I felt it down to my core, others started feeling my excitement too. People looked back at me with fewer funny stares and more warm smiles that said "I believe that". It all started with a decision I made inside, and then the outside saw that and grinned.
I'm going to let you in on a secret. I've been planning something big and huge and ginormous and universal and cosmic and radiant. It's something that feels absolutely right, or write (haha). I'm not going to tell you what it is, no spoiling the surprise, but know this. I plan for it to be better than discovering Tutankhamen buried in your back garden. However, this and the fact (not a bad one, but a reality) that I am in my final year of school means that I'm going to blogging a whole lot less that I would like to be in the coming months. Please understand that I'm not leaving or purposefully neglecting my treasure of a blog. I believe there has to be a practicality when it comes to keeping up blogs, and currently it just isn't one. I'll check in soon, I promise.