Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My Last First Day

I don't know, somehow I thought I'd never be out of school. I started out as a tiny-tot three year old in Pre-Primary, then arriving in Primary School at seven, eventually making my way up to the big pond of High School; and now, before I could even catch my breath, I'm announcing to myself the unbelievable fact that today is my very last first day of school. And something feels very right about it.

Last year, the school grounds felt horrifying empty. Our matrics of 2012 had graduated and left, and although a whole group of people were actually missing, it felt like a whole group of  people were missing. This year, I was highly interested to find out what it would feel like without the people that had always been one year ahead of us, and you know what? It feels rather amazing. We are at the top of the pyramid, at the edge of the cliff, ready to jump out of the plane, and my heart is pumping. I'm singing Good Morning Baltimore to the beginning my final year (I put that in bold just because it's my final year. It needs emphasis.), and then when it's all over, Goodbye Mr Chips. 

I don't plan on making this long, nor am I going to go into the whole "omg, I sooo can't believe it" stuff -that I will leave for my friends, sans the accent, attitude and pretty much the entire phrasing of that statement. But I will say this. I am not a hater of high school. 

Okay, high school has been rough, I'm not even going to put an inch of glitter onto that one, but you know what? I have grown into my radiant Self, and the lessons and knowledge that I sponged up in my 14 years at school have played a major role in moulding me into who I am. I am so grateful for that. Plus, I am not going to forget all the wonderful times I've had there. It's been fun. I also adore knowledge and I fully plan on attaining my full house of distinctions at the end of the year. I already have a truck load of work and it's just the first day, but if I could survive Grade 11, I know I can do anything. I think I found my perfect formula last year during my final exams on how not to burn out. 

I used to be a compulsive over-studier and used to work myself to a standstill, so much that I began to feel light headed because my blood pressure had dropped so low. What I realized last year during a moment of total reckless -or I later found out, rational- abandon that I knew my work and that one second more of going through my science notes was not going to help me one bit. Also, sleep. Major one. Previously I had made my way through exams on nights of 5 hours sleep. I was crazy! So I began sleeping at 10 pm, and I felt calmer, more ready to write, and definitely more refreshed. That was a game changer for me, so this year I plan on really pacing myself. I am going to movies with my friends. I am going to take long walks and go to the gym. I am going to eat really well, and I am going to sleep for as many hours as I feel I need, because I am worth the care that I can give myself. 
And to any matric readers, so are you. 

Take care of yourselves this year, and shine.