Saturday, January 12, 2013

Us. Friends. Always.

I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach all day. I had known for months that my closest friend on the entire planet was leaving, but today was her final day, and it hadn't hit me yet. 

Paula and I have been best friends for the last 2 years, but I feel like I've known her my entire life. She feels like more of a sister to me than anything else, which is why her moving away has taken such a grievous toll on me. Because her father is a Mozambican diplomat, she has had a very erratic life. She came to South Africa when she was 7 from Mozambique, and wonderfully, she hasn't had to move anything more drastic than her house in her years here. This year turned out to be the year it became more drastic. 

Her and I have had some wicked laughs and adventures and also some beautiful and soul touching times together too, last year in particular, since we both went on a school tour to Germany, Switzerland and Greece. 

Heidelberg - my favourite town.
Japanese tourists
Scary slides in the Salt Mines of Berchtesgaden
At the top of the Jungfrau
Athens, Greece

Euro tour was such an incredible experience to share with her. 
I will never, ever forget it. (Grins)

On Monday this last week I had breakfast with her in this quaint neighbourhood cafe and we talked non-stop for two and a half hours. We spoke about the year to come, what her new school is going to be like, our holidays, shared our aspirations for our lives and so much more and when time was up, I think we needed at least another two hours. We then went out to watch The Hobbit with a bunch of our friends -the second time for me. That movie remains utterly brilliant, as does the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy, but that's besides the point. I arrived home that night glowing from head to toe. It was a fantastic day. 

Friday was her planned visit to our school to say goodbye to everyone. Arriving in the last hour of the day, she briskly walked into my science class, there to say her farewells. I could tell she had been crying. She gave me a hug and everyone else as well, and then she left. We hadn't gotten to say the things we needed to say to each other, and it still hadn't hit me. 

I arrived home that day, and the knot in my stomach hadn't budged an inch. I ate lunch, read a bit, and then I decided to sit in lotus on the grass outside to meditate and breathe a bit in an effort to rid myself of the horribly icky feeling that had come over me. Suddenly, as if someone had hit me in the face with a baseball bat, I began to cry. Actually cry doesn't quite describe it. It was more along the lines of my face collapsed on themselves with the added effect of heaving and tears.
It had hit me. 

My best friend had left for good. She was gone.

Where it all started...

Last night, her and I had our out-pour of adieu messages via Whatsapp. I was sobbing. Really sobbing. I eventually just brought a toilet role to use as tissues. I'm surprised my parents didn't think to check if I was dying from some fast acting, highly painful disease that was plaguing my body at that time. It's called bestfriend/sisteriamgoingtomissyousofreakingdamnmuch disease.

I woke up this morning with a swollen face and red, puffy eyes from the sheer titanic of crying that had occurred last night.
We spoke today and turns out we both have swollen red faces! 
Puffy eyes sisters!

Dear Paula, I wish you all the abundance, joy and love of the universe. You are an unimaginably amazing person. Wow, this year is going to be different without you.